Fox News blames the rain while your wallet burns and Iran laughs

You would think, listening to certain folks on television this week, that the single greatest obstacle between the American people and a nice Memorial Day barbecue is a stubborn low-pressure system parked over the Great Lakes.

According to the conservative propaganda channel that Roger Ailes built back when Ronald Reagan was still selling morning in America, the reason you are not packing the car and heading for the beach is simple.

It is cold. It is wet. It is what they are calling a “Memorial Day Weekend Washout.”

And you might almost believe them, if you had never bought a tank of gas in your life.

The fact they will not mention, the fact they cannot mention without breaking the whole spell, is that regular unleaded is sniffing five dollars a gallon.

Five dollars. Not because of a war in Ukraine anymore, though that war is still burning. No, this war is one the President of the United States started himself back in February, an unprovoked adventure that has now handed Iran a victory so clear you could read it without glasses.

Iran is emerging from this mess stronger, smugger, and more dangerous, while American families are left to wonder why their paycheck buys half the groceries and a quarter of the gasoline it did a year ago.

But do not look for that story on Fox.

That would require explaining how a needless foreign entanglement, sold to the public as a quick and decisive blow, has instead sent energy markets into a fever and inflation climbing right back up the stairs it had just started to descend.

And that would lead to an even more uncomfortable question. If the President’s war caused this, and if his own Treasury is printing nothing but bad news, then who exactly is looking out for the working stiff who just wants to drive his kids to the lake?

In Charlottesville, men marched with tiki torches and chanted that Jews would not replace them. Some of them carried swastikas and Nazi flags. A man drove his car into a crowd of people and killed a woman named Heather Heyer.

All of this was filmed and documented and undeniable. And almost immediately, Fox News told you not to believe what you saw. President Donald Trump said there were very fine people on both sides.

Then came January 6th. A terrorist mob stormed the United States Capitol to try to overturn an election.

Fox News called those rioters tourists. Trump pardoned them. Now those seditious criminals may be eligible for compensation from a billion‑dollar fund set up by the Department of Justice.

The fund was created to settle a lawsuit filed over his leaked tax returns. So the people who smashed windows and attacked police officers could get a check from you.

Do not worry about any of this. Do not question the absurd lies. Just accept the story that America is always right, no matter what you see with your own two eyes.

That is where the weather comes in.

You see, a clever distraction does not need to be a lie. It just needs to be true enough. Yes, it is raining in Chicago. Yes, it is unseasonably cool in Boston. Point Pleasant had no beach goers at 7 am.

But people drove in the rain for fifty years without a second thought. They packed umbrellas and complained about the traffic.

What stops them now is not a few degrees on the thermometer. It is the cold, hard math at the pump. When it costs eighty bucks to fill an SUV, a little drizzle becomes a very convenient excuse.

Fox is handing that excuse out like free candy.

This is the machine Roger Ailes perfected.

Do not argue with the working man about his wages or his healthcare or the fact that his son just got sent to fight a war that benefits no one but the defense contractors.

Instead, give him something else to blame. The weather. The Democrats. The guy in the other pickup truck with the different bumper sticker.

Keep his eyes on the clouds so he never looks down at his own wallet, which has been quietly picked clean by policies that make the rich richer and leave everyone else to fight over scraps.

Right now, the richest are doing just fine.

Oil futures are dancing. The military-industrial complex is humming. And the conservative propaganda channel is doing exactly what it was built to do, keeping you focused on the rain dripping off your gutter while the roof caves in behind you.

Iran is celebrating. Gas is nearing five bucks. Inflation is chewing on your savings like a stray dog on a bone.

But never mind all that. The important thing, they tell you, is to bring a jacket. Have a safe and responsible holiday.

And for heaven’s sake, do not ask any questions about who started that war or why your dollar does not go as far as it used to.

Just look up at the sky and nod. It is the weather, friend. It is always the weather.